The Bednest – One Month In (A Review)

 2am. The little one stirs. I lean over to pop his dummy in, which will soothe him long enough for me to get ready to feed him. Once I’m up in a comfortable and safe position, I reach over to pick him up and begin to feed, praying this night waking will be quick and quiet.

I don’t have to reach far for him, I don’t need to lean over too much. He sleeps in a Bednest which we have rented from the Bednest company for six months. It’s attached to our bed and means he sleeps within 30cm of me at all times, give or take a bit of wriggling. 

Tragically, it came to light a couple of days ago that a seven week old baby has died in a Bednest. I can’t begin to understand what that family are going through and my sincerest condolences go out to them. I hugged my little one a bit tighter the night I first read the story. However, after the news broke, what followed was a period of confusion, worry and, sadly, backlash as the company was bombarded with questions from customers about the safety of the product which had been thought of as so trustworthy until now. Despite reassurances from the company about safe usage of the Bednest and their efforts to answer all questions, doubts are still being raised. Amidst the crowd, I sat quietly and watched as it all unfolded on social media and was then compelled by my own experiences to write this review. Bednest are not paying me to write this and all these words and thoughts are my own.

When we found out we were having a second child I immediately started to look around at what options were out there for issues that we had faced and (perhaps naively) just “put up with” when we had our first child. One of those issues was where the baby slept when he was in our room. Our bedroom isn’t big enough for a cot and we had used a Moses basket with our first. However, he was a big baby and ultimately ended up being moved to his own room and cot at just a few months old. 

Determined not to have to move a three month old baby in with his two year old brother (who sleeps amazingly well and has no issues at night, despite us transitioning to a “big boy bed” just weeks before baby number 2’s arrival) I began researching other options that would allow the baby to sleep in our room for longer, should he follow suit and be another big baby.

It was through an ad on Facebook that I came across the Bednest company. I read reviews, googled and googled until I could approach my husband with what I knew was a viable option. 

The Pro’s:

  • It’s bigger than a Moses basket, without being too big for our bedroom. 
  • It attaches to our bed, making night wakings easier to deal with especially if I’d needed to have an emergency caesarean. 
  • We could rent one for the duration we needed it and they would take it away again after – no storage needed or worry about trying to sell it on. 
  • It had a side which could be used fully up, fully down or halfway. This swung it for me. It seemed such a good idea and so ingenious when I thought of how often a baby needs tending to. Now I even had the option of looking after my baby while still lying down! Think of all those precious zzzzz’s!!

I showed YouTube videos to my husband which explained the Bednest’s features and he too was won over. We ordered one.

I was so excited about the arrival of our hired Bednest. When I was scheduled for an early induction I got in touch with the company to change the delivery date (something they did happily and free of charge) and when it arrived I was able to set it up myself, even at nearly 39 weeks pregnant. It was so simple to put together that once I’d read the instructions I was too excited to wait for my husband to get home. I wanted to see what it looked like in our room and imagine a baby sleeping in it!

Our baby boy is now nearly four weeks old and so, whilst we haven’t yet used the Bednest to it’s full extent, it is already earning it’s money back in usefulness and flexibility. 

Though our boy is yet to sleep three hours in a row, we’ve used every feature of the Bednest whilst we figure out how our baby best likes to sleep. We’ve explored tilting the bed, to see if it helped with the wind he often gets at night. I’ve enjoyed being able to nurse while lying down and then almost seamlessly move him to his own safe sleep space. I’ve loved being able to sleep so close to him, to reach over to put his dummy in when he stirs without really needing to move, and to gaze at him at my own eye level while he sleeps.

Despite the recent news stories, I wouldn’t hesitate to order another Bednest should we need one (though there is no intention that we will!!) I’m sure that as the next few months pass, the Bednest will continue to prove invaluable to us as a family. I fully intend to write another review at the end of our rental period but for now we have only positive things to report. 

Thank you, Bednest, for making the first month of our newborn’s life that little bit easier. The sleepless nights are made better ever so slightly by your product and I look forward to the sleepFULL nights that are to come, knowing that my child sleeps safely in your beautiful, practical product.

As ever, thanks for reading! All shares, likes, comments and retweets are very much appreciated. Come find me on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting or on Twitter at @mumwriting. With any product, I can’t stress enough how important it is to do your own research before purchasing. My opinion is only one of many. Do take the time to go and read others. Again, these are my opinions and I am in no way affiliated with Bednest, I am just a happy customer. My thoughts and prayers are with the family of the baby who passed away in this tragic accident. 

Friday Five 20/03/15 – Five Things I’ll Miss About Being Pregnant

When it gets to this stage in a pregnancy, it’s so easy to start saying “I can’t wait for this to all be over” and “as soon as possible please baby!” I know, because I’ve said them and I’ll probably keep saying them! Because pregnancy can be hard, and by this point, you really want to meet your baby and have your body back, minus the sickness, fatigue, swelling and other symptoms.

So, in this week of spicy food eating, gym ball bouncing and hopeful prayers, I wanted to try and be a little positive and remember the good things about being pregnant. These are the top things I’ll actually miss about this time…

1) Knowing my baby is completely safe at all times.

When he’s inside of me, wriggling away, not only do I know where he is, who’s holding him and that he is safe and sound, I also don’t have to worry about when he was last fed, or last slept. He’s completely taken care of inside me. I don’t have to worry about his big brother driving cars over his face or waking him from an elusive nap. He’s protected in there.

As soon as I had my first baby, I had probably hundreds more things to worry about than I ever did while I was pregnant. That’s only going to double when I have this baby. At least, for now, I can relax knowing he’s safe and sound and completely at peace inside me!

2) The lovely things people say.

In all honesty, I’ve never felt that pregnancy makes me “glow”… but it doesn’t stop people saying it!! Nor does it stop people saying how little weight they think I’ve put on or how lovely my bump looks. People are very forthcoming with compliments when you’re pregnant and even when you don’t feel it, it’s lovely to hear. 

I’ll miss the regular compliments because, let’s face it, once the baby is born it’s time for the dry shampoo, hair in a bun, leggings and vest tops that are so easy to live in post-birth! And that’s ok, you have to feel comfortable for the first few months after baby while you’re settling into this new life. And after that the hard work starts to get back into some kind of shape!!

3) Never being alone. 

I love that being pregnant means I’m never alone. I recently had a nights stay in hospital and, even though I welled up when my husband left and I thought of my little boy going to sleep without a goodnight kiss, it was lovely to feel the baby squirm and know that I was still with my family. You’re never alone when you’re pregnant, you’ve got constant company.

And  it’s company that doesn’t mind watching Gossip Girl with you and going to bed early. It’s company that is happy if you take a nap in the middle of the day or just relax on the sofa for an hour in your pyjamas. And that’s the kind of company I love!

4) Feeling the complete essence of “girl power”. 

No, I don’t mean the Spice Girls version of girl power (although, #vivaforever – I ❤ the Spice Girls). No, I mean that being pregnant, growing a baby inside me and preparing to somehow (!) push it out is what my body is made to do. 

I know there are many women out there who can’t give birth and I could never understand their pain, frustration, anger or sadness over that. It is another of life’s mysteries that I will never understand. Only God knows why these things happen and I’m sure those ladies will have deep conversations with God one day about it. All I can do is be thankful that I have been given this opportunity and make the most of it on behalf of all those women who can’t do this. I admire them.

5) … 

I’m actually struggling to think of a fifth thing! As much as all of the above is true, I really do just want my baby to be here and to see him interacting with his big brother. Pregnancy has not been easy for me, but I must must must try to stay positive in these last weeks! 

What are the things you will/do miss about being pregnant? Maybe your ideas will help me to think of something else!!

Thanks for reading! Please comment, like, share and retweet because every single one of those things makes me smile 🙂 come find me and have a chat on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting or Twitter at @mumwriting. Let me know your positives from pregnancy! I can’t wait to hear them…

Mother’s Day – The morning after…

This was my second ever Mother’s Day as a mum. Last year my lie in got invaded by a snuggly, milky baby. This year, I got my lie in (until 8:30am!) but it was only because I had a poorly little boy who needed his sleep!! Unfortunately Mother’s Day didn’t see the best of my little one (too many sniffles and coughs) and being a fingernail away from being classed as “full term” for this pregnancy, I can’t say I was in the best form either!! So we were a pair together really, wallowing in each other’s misery and discomfort. 

Luckily, thanks to my husband and family, we ended up having a really lovely afternoon with a lot of nice food and chat which made all the difference. 

As much as I love the calendar holidays (Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentines Day, etc.) they are, after all is said and done, just another day on the calendar. And just another day when my boy doesn’t feel well and we spend more time wiping tears and noses than giving cuddles or dancing. We can’t help what day these things happen on. Sometimes we get I’ll on Christmas Day and there’s nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter. There are more days to be grateful or to celebrate. 

I hope your Mother’s Day was good and you got to celebrate. BUT if you didn’t, then don’t worry. There are plenty more days to celebrate with family. 

My little boy has just woken up from his nap and seems much perkier after medicine from the doctor so it looks like we’re on the up at this end! Full term tomorrow for me so panic stations at the ready – baby number two will be here any day… 

Thanks for reading! Come find me for a chat over on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting or on Twitter at @mumwriting and let me know how your Mother’s Day went! 

Big Boy Bed

So… On Saturday we finally found the time to build the bed we’d bought for our Big Boy. It also happened to coincide with the delivery of a new book – Pirate Pete and his Big Boy Bed… Or something along those lines. 

So we made a big fuss over reading the book multiple times and when we did something that was mentioned in the book we pointed out what happened next. And weirdly, Pirate Pete has the same cuddly toys as our boy so that was a nice addition. 

In hindsight, I think it probably would have been better if I’d ordered the book a few weeks ago but I just didn’t get around to it. At least it helped to set the stage. Maybe.

We finished building the bed just before lunch and he went a bit nuts climbing on and off and having a fun time bouncing around. He seemed really excited and we kept reiterating to him that he’d be sleeping in the Big Boy Bed that night. Then we went to have lunch.  After lunch we headed up for “nappy and nap”. We then had to wait as he took a bit longer to settle for his nap (still in his cot) as he really wanted to sleep in his new bed… but the bed sheets were in the tumble dryer! 

Eventually he napped as normal and the rest of Saturday happened. When bathtime and bedtime came around we did everything as normal except for reading his new book instead of any other. Unfortunately this also happened to be nail cutting night. So we had a few tears over that and then he happily climbed into his new bed, settled down and we left. 

Two minutes later the crying began. 

At first he settled down straight away as soon as one of us went in but he got more flustered and upset as time went on. He was getting hotter and clearly couldn’t find somewhere to get comfy. Remember this wasn’t just a change of bed, it was a change from sleeping bag to blankets and from one side of the room to the other so I don’t blame him for being a bit upset! 

When my husband went into him at one point, he actually said “that bed” and pointed at his cot. In an ideal world we would have removed the cot completely from the room but considering we’ll be wanting it again in about five or six months we just didn’t see the point in dismantling it. Anyway, after a few crying bouts he eventually settled off and slept soundly until maybe 6:10. Aside from a lot of shuffling, he did really well and I still now think it could have been a whole lot worse!

Night two was even better. We had a little bit of dramatic fake crying while putting on pyjamas – “this bed Daddy” while standing with his arms through the cot bars dressed in just a nappy and vest (quite funny actually) – but after that he settled off easily and slept straight through until 7:30. Wonderful! 

Both mornings, he’s just waited in his bed until I’ve gone in to him so now I’m trying to teach him that it’s ok for him to get out and play if he wants to. It might give me an extra 5 minutes!!

I know it’s early days and I fully expect a regression of some sort after baby is born but it’s one thing I’m glad we did now. For starters, I was really starting to struggle with reaching over his cot! I know the bump was the main issue but I just couldn’t reach. Besides, it’s really helped us to kick the habit of holding him to sing his bedtime song, Twinkle Twinkle, and getting him to settle in bed first before we sing. 

All in all, I’m glad we’ve done it now. I know it’s still early for a lot of kids at his age and most would still be in a cot until after two but it was definitely the right move for us. 

When did your little one move into a Big Bed? And how did it go? 

Thanks for reading! If love it if you could comment and let me know your transition tips, especially as baby number two is imminent! Any and all help is appreciated. Please like, share, retweet and comment. I love it when you do!! 

Come find me on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting or on Twitter at @mumwriting and let’s chat 🙂 

33 weeks and I’m wearing out!

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So this week I did not stick to any sort of blog writing schedule as I had planned. At 33 weeks pregnant, I succumbed to sleep! I slept when my little boy napped and I slept while he was with grandparents and basically just chilled for a good long while! And so begins the final leg of pregnancy where only about 3 outfits fit me properly, I ache and am in constant pain, and I start to wish away the days!

You would think with it being half term I would have had more time to write but instead my bed proved too comfortable and my body too uncomfortable. Anyone who has spoken to me about having “bump envy” or feeling broody again for these late stages of pregnancy has clearly forgotten the discomfort. That, alongside all the jobs that are still to do before baby arrives, are making life difficult.

BUT I have to say that I do feel incredibly blessed. I am relying more upon my beautiful family – my husband who has been and continues to be so caring and understanding about all my moans and gripes, and my son who is learning that sometimes Mummy can’t get down on the floor to roll around with him and occasionally he needs to play by himself. I would be in serious trouble without their patience!

Luckily they have each other to roll around on the floor with and have tickle fights with. I can’t wait until they day when there are two little boys doing all of that together.

For now I know I need to concentrate on staying comfortable, healthy and preparing for an imminent arrival. So, here’s what’s to come in the next few weeks…

– Packing a hospital bag.
– Moving my big boy into a big boy bed.
– Getting all the baby stuff down from the loft.
– Washing a lot of baby stuff.
– Sorting out clothes for post-birth.
– CHOOSING A NAME! Yes, this child still has no name. Poor boy.

Apparently baby is now the size of a honeydew melon so no wonder getting comfy is such a nightmare. Just got to hope for the best now – a safe, easy and preferably slightly early birth!!

So here’s to all the pregnant ladies struggling to get through the third trimester and hoping upon hope that their little one decides to appear at 38 weeks instead of 42, and the ones who can easily fall asleep at 2pm but struggle to sleep at 1am, and the ones who can’t find anything decent to wear except that one same outfit and damn it if I don’t get my money’s worth out of those Next Maternity Jeans!

We can do this ladies! We’ll get there. We’ll meet our little ones soon. In the words of Effie Trinket… “Eyes bright, chins up, smiles on.”

Thanks for reading! I’m also around on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting and Twitter at @mumwriting. Come find me! Thanks for journeying along with me. Every like, share, retweet and comment means a lot!

Mums' Days

Friday Five 06/02/2015 – Five Things That Scare Me about Being a Mum of Two

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I can’t wait to have two kids. I really, honestly, can’t. I’m so looking forward to seeing them interact and learn about each other and, eventually, play together. But I can’t say the prospect is totally fear-free. In fact, there are a few things that I’m scared of…

1) Mealtimes

This is probably my biggest fear. I remember not long after having my first, being proud of myself for managing to get the tea on the table and the baby asleep at the same time so that my husband and I could eat an evening meal together. How am I going to do that whilst entertaining a toddler as well? Yes, he’s getting better at playing by himself and the likes of Peppa Pig are often a blessing – especially when I’m trying to make dinner! But with a baby too? A baby who, in the first few months, is going to be totally unpredictable in terms of feeding, sleeping and pooing.

Mealtimes are something we’re working on with my little one at the moment. He loves finger food and hates actual meals like Stir Fry or Pasta Bolognese. So we’re working on a schedule with him at the moment where one day we eat a meal that I know has at least two preferred foods of his in, and then the next day we have a regular family meal. He’s just having to deal with it and it’s hard. (Strategies welcomed!) But doing all of that AND feeding a baby? Aargh!

2) Bedtimes

We have a great routine at the moment, but that will all change as we hope to get the first one into a bed before baby comes! So it’ll be all change there. But it’s so handy having two adults and one child to deal with. We tag team and it works well. But what do bigger families do?

Do two-child families have a kid each? Do you take it in turns so that each parent gets a night off? Or is it just all hands on deck, whatever goes? Again, strategies for this kind of thing would be great! Can we bath a baby at the same time as bathing a two year old? (The eldest only has oil in the bath because he has dry skin patches). Or will we have to do two bath times, two bedtimes and two routines entirely?

3) TV Judgement

Can we be honest here for a minute? Yes, our child watches TV. He also uses the iPad. Now, out of the two of them, we actually prefer iPad time because of the interaction, but he does have a couple of favourite programmes and (as I mentioned) Peppa is a genius at getting dinner ready!

Of course, we won’t just plonk the baby down in front of the TV. And there’ll be the new added element of sibling interaction to take some attention away from TV time. But when our two year old needs that quiet moment with Mr Tumble after an upset or an episode (or two) of Peppa so that tea can be ready on time… that’ll be when the health visitor turns up and sees a baby in the same room as a toddler and a TV. My second child’s first word will be Tumble. I can see it now. I’m not looking forward to the judgement (as there always is) about screen time.

We will be as adept as we can be at providing other activities for the two of them. But I think there may well always be time for Tumble…

4) Getting ready to leave the house

It’s already hard enough to get “coat, shoes, hat…” sorted for the boy whilst finding my boots, coat, scarf, keys, phone, purse and whatever else. I swear we carry the world around in that changing bag! I downsized at Christmas and got an absolutely beautiful, patterned bag in readiness for the new baby. I chucked out everything unnecessary that had found its way into that blasted thing and restocked and reorganised my beautiful new one. It works lovely at the weekends. Not so much on Grandparent Days (currently my working days) during which they might want his wellies, or posher clothes, or clothes for getting dirty in, or a waterproof coat, or extra nappies or… anything! I never know, so I try to stuff it all in there. We’re still using the old bag for that!

Will my beautiful new bag stay beautiful and not get completely ruined by the addition of extra nappies, muslins, spare clothes and bottles? I’m sure our old changing bag used to be lovely once… How is it going to be possible to get both of them ready, not sick or pooey or muddy, but dressed and clean AND myself on days when my husband isn’t in?

5) This may well be us.

Number four. This could be it. The last one. There are no plans for another. There were always plans for another after the first, despite how badly pregnancy and birth treated me! Now there are no plans other than to keep the four of us healthy and happy.

I’m not sad about that. If I was sad there would have been serious discussions and we would have come to some form of agreement, even if it was an agreement that for now we wouldn’t talk about it but maybe one day… There is no “one day…” discussion waiting to happen. So if I’m not sad about it, why does it scare me that maybe this is it? Can other mums shed some light?

Is it just that I need other friends to continually have children so that I can always enjoy new-born cuddles? Or is waiting for grandchildren my next round of nappies and muslins? I hope not, I’m only 25!!

Is this just the motherly instinct? Will that always be there? For now, let’s just deal with getting this one out safe and the eldest used to all the changes. Because there are a lot to come…

Thanks for reading! If you share some of the same worries, or have ways of dealing with them, PLEASE share your expertise. You can find me on Facebook at facebook.com/mumwriting or on Twitter at @mumwriting. You guys are brilliant, and your likes, shares, retweets and comments make me happy! Happy Friday!

The List

Lifelong friendships or “seasonal” companionships?

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As my little boy gets older and I start to notice him at the very edge of that toddler stage of making friends, it occurs to me that I haven’t really thought about my own friendships for a long time. I mean, I see my friends – they come round for tea, we chat, moan, deliberate and generally have good conversation. But I haven’t “evaluated” my friendships in a long while.

Should I? Do you?

You see, I recently had a sad moment where I found an old friend was no longer a friend at all. Or at least, she didn’t see herself as being that to me anymore. And whilst I can recall some of those moments of change with other friends, this one struck a chord.

So, I started to evaluate. In these early grown-up years, where motherhood and family life is so apparent and friendships almost take a back seat, I started to think about who my friends were – what type of friendship we had, if that friendship was lacking anywhere that I could fix. And, quite honestly, I feel I’ve made some progress with some of those. That makes me feel better.

But thinking about this sort of stuff often makes me want to sit and brainstorm/mind map/thought shower/whatever. I think best by getting things down on paper, in lists or plans or some other visual form. Anyone else do that?

I think I must be a visual thinker, because that’s exactly what I did. I got paper, I got my planner, I made a list of free nights, days and spare weekend time (which isn’t much when you’re a working mum in the late stages of pregnancy with a toddler and a husband and a family to see!) I made a few plans with a few people, threw in a few purposeful conversations and sent out a couple of texts. And I feel better.

Because it’s hard when you realise that what you thought was a lifelong friendship became a seasonal friendship, and even harder when that season ends. But maybe being on the cusp of creating some lifelong friendships makes that better, OK even? There was a time in my life where I needed someone and that someone was there. Maybe now I need someone or something else.

Maybe my son will still be friends in twenty years with the friends he’s beginning to make now (wouldn’t that be amazing?) but it’s unlikely. His friends now will be seasonal, until school or slightly beyond maybe. Then those friends may last until university. And other friends will come and go until he gets to the point where I am now – where I can list amazing friends who were there at the right moment. And others who’ve been there all along.

And now, in new moments, there are new friends. And that’s OK.

Thanks for reading! All likes, shares, retweets and comments are appreciated and I love seeing all of them! You can find me on Facebook at facebook.com/mumwriting or on Twitter at @mumwriting. Thanks for being so lovely and listening to my ramblings on a Wednesday lunchtime…