It’s late on a Sunday night and this post will be published in the morning. Why am I writing so late? Because I currently ache, can’t sleep and am generally feeling a bit rubbish. So I write while my husband snores away beside me and my son snuffles on the monitor and my baby kicks away inside me. So forgive any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. Third trimester and perfection do not generally go together!
One of the things I have learnt this time around in pregnancy is that being honest with people about how I’m feeling is largely a better way to handle things. First time round I think I tried to be all “glowing” and pretend that pregnancy was lovely. But if I’m honest, both times have been pretty rough. I’m of the opinion that being pregnant suits some women and not others. I’m one of the latter. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, or that it makes me any less womanly, it’s just how my body handles certain things. So this time round when people have asked how I am I’ve been honest with them.
And you know what? I get pretty good responses. Sympathy and cups of tea, cake and tips on where to go for massages. I can’t say it’s all bad, this honesty thing.
In all my life I’ve never been as straight and open with people as I am now. That’s why it was so refreshing when, at a friend’s house the other night, she asked me and my husband some pretty straight-talking questions. And we were able to answer them truthfully, openly and in a place where judgement didn’t exist.
That’s how friendships are formed. Especially in adulthood where friends can seemingly be won or lost so quickly and without notice.
Kids tell the truth. My son tells me when he’s ripping up books or drawing on the walls. He’s not yet reached the age of realising he probably shouldn’t tell me when he’s being naughty. It’s why people find him endearing and loveable.
Am I endearing and loveable when I complain about my aches? Probably not. But you know what? When I’m honest and open I seem to make friends quicker, keep friends longer and make friendships that are deeper.
So no, I’m not glowing. But if you fancy a real chat about how life is all you have to do is ask. These days, I’ll be pretty open and honest with you about anything! And my friends love it.
Thanks for reading! Every like, share, comment or retweet means a lot so please keep doing it! You can find me on Facebook at Facebook.com/mumwriting or twitter at @mumwriting. Happy Monday!
I think it is good to be honest. Not everyone enjoys pregnancy and by being open about the struggles, you give other people permission to be open about theirs too.
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Very true! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
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I feel your pain, my latest post is along similar lines! 2nd time round is difficult!! Really enjoyed reading this post.
Helen – #mummymondays
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I’ll come and check it out now. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 🙂
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I’m so pleased you’ve been getting such a positive response and are embracing all the not-so-lovely bits of pregnancy too! I’ve been trying to be more honest in baby groups about exactly how our week has been as there is a lot of ‘oh, great, baby is sleeping right through’ etc etc from other Mum’s but it is ok to talk about the rough stuff too- we’re all in the same boat! Linking from #mummymonday
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Yep we certainly are, and it’s so refreshing when people are open about their struggles as well as the good stuff! Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂
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I found my last pregnancy (2nd child) a lot harder. Your honestly with help others understand how you are feeling and get the support you deserve. Congrats on the pregnancy!
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Thanks for reading and commenting, and for the support 🙂
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It’s so nice for you that people are being so supportive, I worry that second time around the novelty for being pregnant will not be there and people won’t be as fussed (I was the first one of my 12 girlfriends to have a baby so there was a lot of novelty!) #Mummymonday
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Some of the novelty has gone but only the bits that don’t really matter 🙂 I’m sure your friends will be just as supportive! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
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Such an honest post. I love it. My 2 year old will also come tell me when he’s down something wrong but just hasn’t figured out yet that she shouldn’t! Funny how their minds work. A hunny I feel yea on the no pregnancy glow. I felt the same way! Hang in there.
~Jennifer @ http://www.jaysgordon.com
Visiting from #mummymonday 🙂
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Thanks for the encouragement, and for reading and commenting! 🙂
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I found the same in subsequent pregnancies and glad that you are able to tell people around you how you really feel x
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I definitely didn’t glow through pregnancy either! I was ill, stressed and felt constantly terrible, yet I though I couldn’t really complain or say anything in case I looked ungrateful for my baby and (stupidly) I thought people would think I was a bad mother before I’d begun! I will definitely take your advice if there is ever a next time and I send hugs x
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Sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell people how you really felt. I hope you do when there’s a next time 🙂 Thanks for reading and replying!
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Everyone is completely different with pregnancies and different bodies react differently. Even if you felt you couldn’t tell people that infact you were feeling a bit rubbish at least you’ve been able to get it written down now! Thanks for linking up #MummyMonday hopefully see you again tomorrow!
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Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂
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